As mothers, we are the Memory Makers. The Documenters. The Keepsake Keepers. The Sentimental Sallies.
We are the ones meticulously filing away absurdly large piles of school papers and artwork (or the ones tossing them in the recycling bin when our child isn’t looking!)
We fall into either extreme or somewhere in the middle, but regardless, it’s up to us, isn’t it?
We are so careful about preserving their childhood memories, but who’s keeping track of ours? As the mom in the story?
We are the ones meticulously filing away absurdly large piles of school papers and artwork (or the ones tossing them in the recycling bin when our child isn’t looking!)
We fall into either extreme or somewhere in the middle, but regardless, it’s up to us, isn’t it?
Why do we even keep track at all?
Because this time is fleeting and we know it. Every parent has bemoaned the passing of time and watched in awe as our children literally grow right before our eyes. Mementos, photographs, journals, notes, and videos all allow us to hang on to these cherished days just a bit longer. We can relive them if we’ve taken the time to document them.
We are so careful about preserving their childhood memories, but who’s keeping track of ours? As the mom in the story?
Motherhood and childhood are, of course, inextricably intertwined. Our pages go together and tell the whole narrative from two unique perspectives. The story really isn’t complete without both.
Motherhood is such a gift, isn’t it? It can also be such a blur. The days fold in on one another and in some seasons seem to repeat endlessly. We are sleep-deprived and wrung out emotionally, mentally, and physically by the end of each day.
How will we remember what it was like for us, to raise these babies of ours?
Don’t you want to be able to look back and recount your motherhood journey with detail and texture and layers and full color? The good and the hard, the things that made you laugh, and the ones that made you crazy?
Your life as a mom deserves to be documented as much as your child’s memories do. So let's discuss how we start being intentional about preserving our own memories.
Let’s cut right to the chase: YOU need to be in them!
If you follow Susie of “Busy Toddler” on the internet, you know about “Proof of Mom” pictures. If not, you can read all about it HERE, but ultimately she came to the same sad realization most of us would: since moms are often the ones TAKING the photos of our kids, we are rarely IN them.
Professional photos of you with your family are truly treasures and something you’ll never regret making time or budgeting for. Find a local photographer who has a good reputation and a style you're drawn to. And yes - they can be done on a budget! Many photographers offer “mini” sessions which are abbreviated sessions at a lower rate. You can also hire someone who’s just beginning their photography career and would take your photos for little or no charge in exchange for the experience and building their portfolio.
Milestone photos should not ONLY show your child at that important moment in time, but you as well! You’re also changing and growing right alongside your kids. (Even if you aren’t looking or feeling your best - these images never have to see the light of day! They are for you alone to revisit one day.)
Examples of landmark moments to be included in: Baby’s birth, breastfeeding journey, postpartum days, child’s first birthday and birthday party, Christmas morning, first day of school.
This "Proof of Mom" principle also applies to family outings and adventures. The next time you’re out with your kids for ice cream or a day at the children’s museum, just ask someone nearby to snap a quick photo for you so you can jump in the frame. Trust me, you’ll want more than “selfies” with your kids!
Equally as important is documenting the simpler, everyday moments of your life. You know the ones: when you’re snuggled up on the couch reading books together, nursing your infant, making dinner with hungry kids at your feet, rocking a baby in a dimly lit nursery...these moments are such treasures because they tell the true story of your life. This is where the majority of your time and investment is spent.
When your spouse is nearby, ask them to snap a quick photo of the moment as it’s happening. If you need to record these moments yourself, technology is your friend! Use your phone’s self-timer, video mode, or buy a cheap phone tripod and remote!
Most of us keep a memory box for our kids filled with special items from their childhood. But have you considered keeping a motherhood memory box?
Some items you could include: hospital bracelet, dried flowers from Mother’s Day, store bought and handmade cards from your children, pictures your kids have drawn depicting your entire family, favorite maternity shirt, books that have informed or inspired your motherhood, or anything else pertaining to your experience as a mom that would be meaningful for you to look back on.
This is a crucial element of documenting your motherhood, because no one else can record the details of your experience like you can! Some people love to document by journaling, but for those of you who do not, keep reading! It can be accomplished in a variety of ways depending on your natural tendencies and preferences.
Be sure to date your thoughts and keep this journal in a spot where you will see if frequently so you remember to add to it on a regular basis.
You can’t beat the ease and convenience of taking notes in your phone. Just make sure you date them and include enough detail to remember specific moments. Also important: back these up so you don't risk losing them!
Many people do this already without even realizing it. Posting a photo along with a caption is an easy way to document memories. Tip: Create your own unique hashtag for your motherhood-specific posts, i.e., #yourname'smotherhoodjourney
These can be short notes or long-form letters written to yourself (past, present, and/or future). Place these in your motherhood keepsake box.
This is a great method if you are not typically a journaler! In a new notebook, begin by skipping the first few pages and write headings on the top of pages for categories like: Motherhood Quotes, Moms Who Inspire Me, Mom Hacks, Favorite Books about Motherhood, Routines & Rhythms, Joys in Motherhood, Favorite Trips/Vacations, Struggles in Motherhood, How I’m Growing, Prayers, Favorite Traditions etc. Number each page. Then go back to the front of the notebook and write in your own index so you know which page coordinates with which list.
If you already use a planner for organizing your schedule, at the end of each week simply write in your motherhood-related highs and lows from the past week, as well as any standout memories. Use the calendar to write in any milestones you’ve experienced alongside your kids. Easy!
General journaling prompts and tips:
We hope this inspires you to begin (or continue!) documenting your motherhood. The memories you're making today - good and bad and in-between - are invaluable and will be so meaningful to revisit down the road.
One of the most common associations we make with motherhood is the concept of a supportive, tight-knit “village” of mothers to build community with. But for many moms this village can be elusive or even non-existent.
BUT -- it doesn’t have to be this way.
It doesn’t have to stay this way. You don’t have to continue through this season without support. We need each other. Motherhood thrives most in conjunction with other mothers - for advice, a listening ear, understanding, encouragement - someone to journey alongside us who really, actually, fully gets it.
This is particularly true for women who live far from family, are the first to have babies in their friend circle, military spouses, or any other scenario that makes community more difficult to obtain.
Motherhood in these kind of circumstances can breed some of the deepest loneliness and isolation a woman will ever experience.
And this is not a need exclusive to first time moms. Moms of multiples need connection and support just as much.
BUT -- I’m really glad to be able to insert a “but” there, especially if the beginning of this post described you at all, hang on because there is good news ahead -- it doesn’t have to be this way.
It doesn’t have to stay this way. You don’t have to continue through this season without support. We need each other. Motherhood thrives most in conjunction with other mothers - for advice, a listening ear, understanding, encouragement - someone to journey alongside us who really, actually, fully gets it.
If there’s a village void in your motherhood journey, then build one yourself.
//
One day while at the playground with my little girl and new baby boy, I spotted another mom who looked eerily like me. Well, she had beautiful red hair (I’m blonde), and both her kiddos were boys, but what I mean is that she and I appeared to be living the same life.
When we found ourselves standing next to the same play equipment, I spoke up and asked how old her youngest was that she had in a carrier - just like me. “Four months old,” she replied. Same as my baby!
We continued our conversation - over to the swings, then the slides, constantly interrupted - as we trailed our older kids around the park. We quickly found out that we both worked in the same field, had delivered our babies in the same hospital (by the same doctor), and even had a handful of mutual friends already.
We both voiced that we were equally glad to have made a connection that day. I asked for her Instagram info before leaving the park so we could continue to chat, and I'm so glad I did.
That friendship grew into more playdates and even time hanging out together without our kids!
I share this because I need you to know that building friendships in this motherhood season does not have be complicated. It only takes a small effort, someone to “go first” and then it will oftentimes grow organically from there.
//
So, make the decision now to be the one.
Be the one to look up and look around. There are moms in your life already - you just haven’t connected with them yet! They are the ones who frequent the same parks, libraries, and pools as you. They, like you, crave connection and support from local moms. Be the one to initiate conversation. Be the one to ask questions! Be the one to reach out and invite. Join a mom meet up. Or join a mom group online first, if you’re really hesitant. It may not always work out, or it may not always be reciprocated. But many times - it will!
Motherhood was never meant to be a solo sport. Someone has to rally the team. Let it be you! Cultivating community is always worth the time, effort, and risk.
Build your village and watch your motherhood thrive.
“It takes a village to raise a child; it takes a village to raise a mother, too."
-Joni Edelman
//
Here at Wyatt’s Pharmacy, we are committed to supporting you in your motherhood. One way we do that is by helping you receive a free breast pump through insurance, so CLICK HERE if you could benefit in that way. We also offer a variety of maternity and new baby items you can check out! Please reach out if you need any help with ordering supplies.
]]>